OMG - Cheese and Bacon HEAVEN

I type this with heavy fingers.....from the water I am retaining following last night's feast of all things cheesy, bacon-y and filled with nitrates.  My neighbor and her daughter came over for dinner last night and it being Friday I was not in the mood to make an overly fussy dinner.  I wanted to hang and enjoy the company.  I decided to get some pizzas and garlic bread (easy as it gets) and supplement it with a recipe I have been eyeballing for awhile.
The recipe comes from a cookbook that I picked up last year for Maddie myself, called 'Cookbook for Girls - Fabulous Food for Gorgeous Girls'. 

They call this dish 'Cheesy Potato Skins', but I immediately coined it 'ohmygodithinkijustdiedandwenttoheavenican'tbelieveiameatinghalfaslabofbaconandapoundofcheese'

Here is the recipe:

4 Large Baking Potatoes (prick with fork brush with oil and bake for 1 hour 400F)

Take these bad boys out of the oven when crispy and let cool slightly
Cut in half the long way and scoop out the insides (leaving a layer of potato)
Cut in half again the long way and place on a baking tray
Season skins with a bit of paprika (I used chipotle spice)

Fill them with:

A layer of cooked and crumbled bacon

Grated cheese mixed with green onion (I used cheddar, but bonus points for creativity here)

Finish off with a layer of more bacon

Pop them back in the oven until the cheese melts (I did this then gave them 1 minute under the broiler)

Serve with sour cream and chive dip and salsa (or the condiments of your choice)

Feel your arteries harden and your heart simultaneously curse and bless you at the same time.


You are welcome in advance.

'Maddie'ness' - The Art of being 3.5 (oh yes there is more)

Last week I was at rehearsal for our new one act play.  We normally rehearse on Wednesdays and when Matt is gone (or working nights) I take Maddie with me.  She has literally grown up back stage at Whittle Hall, knows most of the directors and actors, and where to find the good biscuits in the girls dressing room back stage.  Everyone there has watched her grow up from a tiny newborn (seriously, I auditioned for a play when she was 5 days old), to a stubborn toddler who would yell for me to come on stage (even if it wasn't my turn), to the cute and funny girl who watches us rehearse while quietly putting in her two cents every now and again.

We had just wrapped up on a couple of run throughs and the director wanted to have a bit of a de-briefing with us.  Usually at this time, Maddie likes to come up on stage and run around a bit.  She was really hamming it up this time, trying out the props, sitting on the furniture and singing a little song.  One of the directors turned to Maddie and said:

"So - are you going to be an actress when you grow up"
Maddie replied "NO!  I am going to be a rescue dog" (duh)

At which point I piped in and said "I don't think that you can actually be a rescue dog - because you are not really a dog."
Maddie: "I know - I'm just pretending"
Me: "Oh- carry on then"
Maddie: "But really when I grow up I am going to be...."

wait for it.......

"...23"

We all pretty much lost it at that point, which really pissed her off.

Maddie:  "That's not funny - I can BE 23 when I get big and then you are not going to be my best friend anymore"

Me: "Okay - you can be 23 when you get big, but can we still be friends?"

Maddie: "I'll think about it."

Little Gems

'Maddie'nes - The Art of Being 3.5

My daughter has been filled with 'Maddie'ness' over the past week (okay so really it was like 3 weeks ago now, but I have been busy and SICK and haven't finished this post).  She often comes up with hysterical musings, but this week 3 weeks ago had been one non-stop rollercoaster ride of gems.  Here are just a few:

St George's day was a few weeks ago and Maddie's school had sent home a note asking that children wear something red to celebrate.  Lucky for me, Matt had bought her an England football jersey that was RED.  I brought it downstairs on Friday morning and Maddie took one look at it and said:

"NO"!
me: "But Maddie - you told me yesterday you wanted your room painted red - that is was your favorite color..."
maddie: Slight pause "I did like it, but I don't now"
me: "Well Maddie, everyone is dressing in red today to celebrate St George's Day, so you need to wear this shirt"
maddie: "NO, I SAID I D-O-N-T W-A-N-T T-O-O-O!!!"
me: "It is getting late now, please put the shirt on or you will hurt St. George's feelinings"
maddie: "What is a St. George"
me: "St. George is a man - he is the patron Saint of England and today you are celebrating him"
maddie: "Well..............he must be really old.........because I don't know him"
me: "Yes he is really old"
maddie: "Is he your friend mommy?"
me: "Yes, and he called this morning and asked if you would please wear a red shirt"
maddie: "You didn't say THAT!!!  Okay, but only because he is your friend."

A couple of days later while she was taking a bath she asked what her body was.  I replied that it was everything from her head to her toes.

maddie: "Even my bones?"
me: "yes your bones and your muscles."
maddie: "muscles?  What are those?"
me: "They make us strong so we can do things."
maddie: "Like play?!?!"
me: "Yes and run and walk and help mommy move heavy furniture and unload the dishwasher..."
maddie: "Where are the muscles?"
me: "Well, we have muscles in our arms and stomach and legs."
maddie: "And our BUMS?" (giggle)
me: "Acutally yes - it is called our gluteous maximus."
maddie: (laughing hysterically now...) "glue masticuffs?  That's a silly name."
me: "Yes it is."
maddie: "Big people have big bums like you and little people have little bums like me."
me: "This is true."
maddie: "And my brains are in my body."
me: "yes they are inside your skull."
maddie: "What are brains?"
me: "They help you think of things."
maddie: "Like toys?"
me: "Pretty much."
maddie: "What's a skull?"
me: "The bones around your brain to keep it safe?"
maddie: "Safe from monsters so it can think of toys?"
me: "You got it!"

At this point Maddie made a really funny face and I asked her why she was making it.

maddie: "My brain is trying to play with my skull, but the skull won't share."
me: "Oh - I hate it when that happens - not nice."
maddie: "No it is NOT - that is why my brain is very grumpy right now!"

Welcome to my Monday (3 weeks ago)!

Dear So and So...

Again, I would like to thank Kat over at 3 bedroom bungalow for introducing me to an amazing way to blog and to my friend Rachel at Diapers, Dogs and Cooking in Heels for nagging me for a month to try it.

Dear Rand Farm,

I would like to thank you for having the foresight to stock such wonderful delicacies in your organic and locally sourced farm shop.  You may have just given me the inspiration that I need to complete another item off my 25 Things List (make/try a new recipe) because of this little number that was gracing your shelves:

What's not to love about Dragon's Breath Mustard?  I also picked up this little beauty which was sitting right next to the 'bad breath in a jar':

I would love to invite you (Rand Farm Staff) and all your livestock (leave the goats behind they are rude) over for dinner some night - how 'bout Sunday?

Most Sincerely, The Dragon Slayer



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Dear Brown Mass Aloe Plant,

Sorry about the sun and water - how was I to know?  Hope you like your new home as much as I enjoyed completing another item off my 25 Things List.   Really, really sorry.

Forgive me, P.E.N.O (Plant Enemy Number One)


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Dear cold virus,

Why do you have be like that?  In the future, just make your appearance and then leave (a little etiquette my friend).  You don't need to lurk around for days like a stalker then disappear only to come back unexpectedly with a weapon.  And your timing.....seriously?  Perhaps if you respected me and my boundaries, I wouldn't be forced to eat raw cloves of garlic and scare the neighbors. You are lame and I want nothing more to do with you.  Go and pick on the woman who told me I looked like I had gained weight a few weeks ago - she needs a friend like you!


Sniffle sniffle, kittyn ;p

Does it Count - Take 2

In a desparate attempt to keep Maddie entertained yesterday while I was battling an ugly cold (and losing), we decided to set up a pretend grocery store in the living room and take turns being the shopkeeper and the customer.  I lined up a table with some items from our cupboard and Maddie found some 'coins' that the customer could use to purchase the stuff. 

We went 2 or 3 rounds of selecting items, paying for them and then swapping roles.  We kept adding things to the game to keep it interesting.  A piece of toilet paper that originally served as our 'receipt' was replaced by some real ones that I dug out of my purse.  A bag was procured to place purchased items in.  The store grew from 7 items from my kitchen to include a random variety of Maddie's toys (the shop was expanding into new markets).

It was my turn to be the customer and I decided to purchase a pink camel.  I asked at the 'till' how much my purchase would be and Maddie responded "45".

"But I only have 5 coins"
Split second pause before...
"Well then you better use a card"
Wait - a credit card had not been introduced into the game...
"What did you say", I asked choking back tears of laughter and some phlegm that had risen in my throat (I was SICK)!
"I said - use a CARD - go on - you heard me!!!"
I sheepishly went into the kitchen to fetch an old credit card out of my purse and when I handed to Maddie she said, "Not that one, the silver one - its better" (it truly is but how did she know?)

Today while out shopping I spied a toy cash register that had a built in 'scanner' and 'credit card machine'.  It also contained a small basket filled with some plastic 'food items'.  When we unwrapped it at home I got a better look at the food items contained within:  Ketchup, Milk, Animal Crackers, Sardines, Mints and Fruit Cocktail.  Kind of a bizarre mix for a kids toy, but hey - to each his own.  After playing shop for a couple of hours, Maddie announced that she was going to bake me a cake. 

Then the phone rang and it was my best friend Rachel (Diapers, Dogs and Cooking in Heels).  While chatting with her, Maddie kept popping into the kitchen to let me know about the progress of my 'cake':

1. She was getting all the stuff
2. She was putting it into a bowl
3. She was mixing it
4. The dog was licking the bowl and please tell her to stop
5. She had to start over because of the dog spit, but was using the same bowl and it was okay
6. She was putting it in the 'oven'
7. She was putting it in the 'fridge' because I was taking too long on the phone
8. \She was serving it NOW because she didn't want to wait any longer for cake

Still on the phone, I was presented with a plate of 'cake'.  When asked what was in the cake, the response was:
Ketchup, Milk, Animal Crackers, Sardines, Mints and Fruit Cocktail.  Nice!  I have to say that I enjoyed my piece while Rachel was on the other end laughing her ass off.

Sooooooooooo.  Technically I can cross another thing of my 25 Things List which is - try new recipe that I have never had before (okay really it was meant to be made by ME, but.....).  I can honestely say that I have never had a pretend cake made with Ketchup, Milk, Animal Crackers, Sardines, Mints and Fruit Cocktail.  What do you think - does it count?

Lake + Dog = Happy Day

At the rate I am going I am going to have everything done of my 25 Things List by next weekend, leaving me with nothing to do for the other 5 weeks Matt is gone.  On that end, we have just completed:

Take the Dog to Whisby Lake to mucky her up a bit

Unbeknownst to Lucy (the dog) and Maddie (the child), I had planned to do something fun today.  After the misery that was yesterday I needed to:

1. Be outdoors
2. Put a smile on everyone's face
3. Be outdoors
4. Get Lucy some hardcore off the lead running time
5. Be outdoors

Did I mention it was supposed to be almost 70 degrees (it was)! 

We packed up a bag with a picnic lunch and off we went.  Whisby Lake has about 9 walking trails which surround a maze of small lakes.  They are all dog friendly, however, we always choose the one where you can let dogs off the lead.  It is only about 1.5 miles around and has a fence around the perimiter so dogs can't stray too far.  Lucy absolutely loves it there.  The minute we let her off the lead she does 5 things in the exact same order:

1.  Runs ahead out of sight at a terminal velocity
2.  Dives into the shallow river to the right of the path
3.  Runs back up the slope onto the path and SHAKES the water off onto anyone standing next to her
4. Crosses over to the left and jumpes down a steep incline into the lake
5. Runs back up and takes a massive dump

These 5 things are usually repeated several times during the stroll with the occassional stop to:

1. Chase some swans
2. Sniff some prime dog butt
3. Roll around on the gravel and dirt path like a crazy dog covered in bees
4. 'Point' into the bushes (we are sure she was a hunting dog before we got her)

Today we had the extra bonus of meeting up with, quite frankly, one of the funniest dalmations I have ever seen who ran like a bucking bronco through the shallow water. The dog had about a 3 foot vertical and could practically jump over Lucy.  I am not sure of the physics involved in this, but it was fairly extraordiary to watch.  Lucy was perplexed by the thrashing and jumping and seemed game to try to join in, but got bored after 5 minutes and just wanted to play fetch.

2 hours, 257 ball throws, 1 swan, 26 butt sniffs, 3 poos, 1 picnic and an icecream later we headed back exhausted and happy.  Lucy is getting a grooming tomorrow she is so mucky, which means I can also cross another item off my list!

I love these letters on 3 bedroom bungalow and thought I would link up to write a few of my own.


Dear Demon Child Sweet Princess,

I am so happy that you have taken to your new bedroom like I take to cheese.  Please enjoy it for at least 12 hours so that I can love you again tomorrow.

Yours,
Overtired in Bardney

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Dear Matt,

Next time you get deployed to an island, you will be bringing 3 extra bags - one for me, one for Maddie and one for the dog.  If you don't have enough baggage allowance leave the laptop and me at home and take your darling daughter and dog (they love the beach).

Love,
The woman you once knew

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Dear Fur Beast,

You owe me a new set of sheets.  The incessant bed licking has rendered most of ours disgusting.  Lick your paws like a real dog - I'm just saying!

Gag,
Your Owner


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To my new face cream,

You promised me so much, but I see no signs of improvement.  Get off your lazy ass or I am chucking you in the bin.

Regretfully,
Crowsfeet