Well Hellllllooooo.......

Okay, since I cannot have friends showing me up (you know who you are) I have decided to blog about my life as a crazy (really just misunderstood) American living in the UK. I truly thought that after 7 years the differences between our cultures would begin to blend or to at least not provide so many opportunities for jokes. How wrong could I have been?! I am now in the position to say if you can't beat it - flaunt it and so I sit today ready to unleash some funny stories from the recent past and hopefully of events to come (because trust me it just doesn't go away).

To start - a bit of the boring. I am 37, married to a Brit nicknamed Arse (age 36), with one daughter (age 3) and a dog (6?). My husband is in the RAF and we live in Bardney, England.  Bardney is a very small village in Lincolnshire, although the people in lincolnshire would probably argue that it is actually quite large for a village. I couldn't tell you how many people live here but can say that it boasts: 2 pubs, a SMALL grocery store, a butcher, a post office, a primary school and a newly added Indian Takeaway. It is also home to about 7,542 dogs who all use the village green as a toilet. We are about 15 miles (or a 4 hour drive) from the East Coast of England, the coast bordering the North Sea which means we have CRAZY weather here. As I write this I can 1)hear the wind ripping across the plains and 2) see that the wind has picked up our neighbors 14 foot trampoline which is now sitting atop their 6 foot fence. But I digress.....more on Bardney in another Blog.

I own a gym in Lincoln which is a City, not a town and NOT a village. I have about 400 members who I adore and who I think tolerate me pretty well. My daughter's name is Madison (after my hometown) and she is almost as crazy as I am. Her favorite things are playing on my iphone and hijacking the laptop. She looks so much like her father that sometimes I wonder if she is actually mine! My husband, Matt is an engineer and lately we hardly ever see each other (not by choice). Our dog Lucy is really like our oldest child. She is bossy, charming and a bed hog. Also recently her breath has started to stink.

I am orginally from Madison, WI, but lived in San Diego for what seems like eternity before meeting my husband and moving to England. I am fairly certain that he drugged me with something to get me to agree to the move. We lived in Norfork for 8 weeks before moving to Northern Ireland (that life deserves a blog all its own - don't get me started) for 3 years. Finally settling down in Lincolnshire, were we still get shuffled around like sheep!

All said my life is pretty fine - if only I could understand what the heck people are shouting at me all the time!