16 April 2010

Dear So and So...

Dear So and So...

Again, I would like to thank Kat over at 3 bedroom bungalow for introducing me to an amazing way to blog and to my friend Rachel at Diapers, Dogs and Cooking in Heels for nagging me for a month to try it.

Dear Rand Farm,

I would like to thank you for having the foresight to stock such wonderful delicacies in your organic and locally sourced farm shop.  You may have just given me the inspiration that I need to complete another item off my 25 Things List (make/try a new recipe) because of this little number that was gracing your shelves:



What's not to love about Dragon's Breath Mustard?  I also picked up this little beauty which was sitting right next to the 'bad breath in a jar':



I would love to invite you (Rand Farm Staff) and all your livestock (leave the goats behind they are rude) over for dinner some night - how 'bout Sunday?

Most Sincerely, The Dragon Slayer



*******************************

Dear Brown Mass Aloe Plant,

Sorry about the sun and water - how was I to know?  Hope you like your new home as much as I enjoyed completing another item off my 25 Things List.   Really, really sorry.

Forgive me, P.E.N.O (Plant Enemy Number One)


**********************************

Dear cold virus,

Why do you have be like that?  In the future, just make your appearance and then leave (a little etiquette my friend).  You don't need to lurk around for days like a stalker then disappear only to come back unexpectedly with a weapon.  And your timing.....seriously?  Perhaps if you respected me and my boundaries, I wouldn't be forced to eat raw cloves of garlic and scare the neighbors. You are lame and I want nothing more to do with you.  Go and pick on the woman who told me I looked like I had gained weight a few weeks ago - she needs a friend like you!


Sniffle sniffle, kittyn ;p

15 April 2010

Does it Count - Take 2

In a desparate attempt to keep Maddie entertained yesterday while I was battling an ugly cold (and losing), we decided to set up a pretend grocery store in the living room and take turns being the shopkeeper and the customer.  I lined up a table with some items from our cupboard and Maddie found some 'coins' that the customer could use to purchase the stuff. 

We went 2 or 3 rounds of selecting items, paying for them and then swapping roles.  We kept adding things to the game to keep it interesting.  A piece of toilet paper that originally served as our 'receipt' was replaced by some real ones that I dug out of my purse.  A bag was procured to place purchased items in.  The store grew from 7 items from my kitchen to include a random variety of Maddie's toys (the shop was expanding into new markets).

It was my turn to be the customer and I decided to purchase a pink camel.  I asked at the 'till' how much my purchase would be and Maddie responded "45".

"But I only have 5 coins"
Split second pause before...
"Well then you better use a card"
Wait - a credit card had not been introduced into the game...
"What did you say", I asked choking back tears of laughter and some phlegm that had risen in my throat (I was SICK)!
"I said - use a CARD - go on - you heard me!!!"
I sheepishly went into the kitchen to fetch an old credit card out of my purse and when I handed to Maddie she said, "Not that one, the silver one - its better" (it truly is but how did she know?)

Today while out shopping I spied a toy cash register that had a built in 'scanner' and 'credit card machine'.  It also contained a small basket filled with some plastic 'food items'.  When we unwrapped it at home I got a better look at the food items contained within:  Ketchup, Milk, Animal Crackers, Sardines, Mints and Fruit Cocktail.  Kind of a bizarre mix for a kids toy, but hey - to each his own.  After playing shop for a couple of hours, Maddie announced that she was going to bake me a cake. 



Then the phone rang and it was my best friend Rachel (Diapers, Dogs and Cooking in Heels).  While chatting with her, Maddie kept popping into the kitchen to let me know about the progress of my 'cake':

1. She was getting all the stuff
2. She was putting it into a bowl
3. She was mixing it
4. The dog was licking the bowl and please tell her to stop
5. She had to start over because of the dog spit, but was using the same bowl and it was okay
6. She was putting it in the 'oven'
7. She was putting it in the 'fridge' because I was taking too long on the phone
8. \She was serving it NOW because she didn't want to wait any longer for cake

Still on the phone, I was presented with a plate of 'cake'.  When asked what was in the cake, the response was:
Ketchup, Milk, Animal Crackers, Sardines, Mints and Fruit Cocktail.  Nice!  I have to say that I enjoyed my piece while Rachel was on the other end laughing her ass off.

Sooooooooooo.  Technically I can cross another thing of my 25 Things List which is - try new recipe that I have never had before (okay really it was meant to be made by ME, but.....).  I can honestely say that I have never had a pretend cake made with Ketchup, Milk, Animal Crackers, Sardines, Mints and Fruit Cocktail.  What do you think - does it count?

10 April 2010

Lake + Dog = Happy Day

At the rate I am going I am going to have everything done of my 25 Things List by next weekend, leaving me with nothing to do for the other 5 weeks Matt is gone.  On that end, we have just completed:

Take the Dog to Whisby Lake to mucky her up a bit



Unbeknownst to Lucy (the dog) and Maddie (the child), I had planned to do something fun today.  After the misery that was yesterday I needed to:

1. Be outdoors
2. Put a smile on everyone's face
3. Be outdoors
4. Get Lucy some hardcore off the lead running time
5. Be outdoors

Did I mention it was supposed to be almost 70 degrees (it was)! 

We packed up a bag with a picnic lunch and off we went.  Whisby Lake has about 9 walking trails which surround a maze of small lakes.  They are all dog friendly, however, we always choose the one where you can let dogs off the lead.  It is only about 1.5 miles around and has a fence around the perimiter so dogs can't stray too far.  Lucy absolutely loves it there.  The minute we let her off the lead she does 5 things in the exact same order:

1.  Runs ahead out of sight at a terminal velocity
2.  Dives into the shallow river to the right of the path
3.  Runs back up the slope onto the path and SHAKES the water off onto anyone standing next to her
4. Crosses over to the left and jumpes down a steep incline into the lake
5. Runs back up and takes a massive dump

These 5 things are usually repeated several times during the stroll with the occassional stop to:

1. Chase some swans
2. Sniff some prime dog butt
3. Roll around on the gravel and dirt path like a crazy dog covered in bees
4. 'Point' into the bushes (we are sure she was a hunting dog before we got her)

Today we had the extra bonus of meeting up with, quite frankly, one of the funniest dalmations I have ever seen who ran like a bucking bronco through the shallow water. The dog had about a 3 foot vertical and could practically jump over Lucy.  I am not sure of the physics involved in this, but it was fairly extraordiary to watch.  Lucy was perplexed by the thrashing and jumping and seemed game to try to join in, but got bored after 5 minutes and just wanted to play fetch.

2 hours, 257 ball throws, 1 swan, 26 butt sniffs, 3 poos, 1 picnic and an icecream later we headed back exhausted and happy.  Lucy is getting a grooming tomorrow she is so mucky, which means I can also cross another item off my list!

9 April 2010

Dear So and So...

I love these letters on 3 bedroom bungalow and thought I would link up to write a few of my own.


Dear Demon Child Sweet Princess,

I am so happy that you have taken to your new bedroom like I take to cheese.  Please enjoy it for at least 12 hours so that I can love you again tomorrow.

Yours,
Overtired in Bardney

*****************

Dear Matt,

Next time you get deployed to an island, you will be bringing 3 extra bags - one for me, one for Maddie and one for the dog.  If you don't have enough baggage allowance leave the laptop and me at home and take your darling daughter and dog (they love the beach).

Love,
The woman you once knew

***************

Dear Fur Beast,

You owe me a new set of sheets.  The incessant bed licking has rendered most of ours disgusting.  Lick your paws like a real dog - I'm just saying!

Gag,
Your Owner


*************************

To my new face cream,

You promised me so much, but I see no signs of improvement.  Get off your lazy ass or I am chucking you in the bin.

Regretfully,
Crowsfeet

Does it Count?

One of the items on my 25 Things List was to let Maddie stay at the playground for as long as she wanted even if I was feeling cold/bored/tired...........


Technically:
I could cross that item off my list today. 
I took my daughter to the playground. 
We didn't leave until she wanted to.

Really:
Not sure if the trip  met all the requirements
We left in a flood tears from a whopper of a Maddie Meltdown
We weren't there long enough for me to get cold/bored/tired

The Scene:  The local village playground
The Participants:  Maddie and several playgroup friends that showed up with their mums
The Turning Point:  When I wouldn't/couldn't lift Maddie overhead to get her to the top of the slide

So there we were at the playground, when to Maddie's delight (and mine), her best friend Emily showed up with her mum.  I was thinking it was going to be a nice afternoon - someone for Maddie to play with and adult conversation for me.  This lasted about 2 minutes, when Maddie suddenly decided her legs didn't work and wanted to be lifted to the top of a climbing frame.  The overhead lift required was something I was not prepared to do for several reasons:

1. My shoulder is out of whack and I CAN'T lift 35 pounds of wriggling weight that high
2. Maddie's legs work just fine (I checked)
3. A line was drawn I was going to be damned if I gave in to sacrifice ever being able to pick up even a fork again.

I sat down on a bench with Emily's mum while Emily ran off to play with some other friends that had appeared.  What did my daughter do?  Followed me to the bench screaming and crying at the top of her lungs for me to carry her.  After ignoring her for several minutes, I noticed she was calming down a bit.  After 5 minutes, she was able to scoop up her dignity and go play with her friends. Ahhhhhhhhh bliss.....

......until she decided that she wanted to be lifted on to things of height again and I again declined.

Cue:  Screaming, tears, foot stomping and a final cry of "I want to go home!!!"

So we did - does it count?

Kits ;p

7 April 2010

Gave my Child a Larger Room - Sacrificed my Shins (and Sanity)

Today I swapped Maddie's bedroom over to the much larger guest bedroom (and vice versa).  We love our houseguests when they visit and hope they have fond memories of the large digs, but our daughter's ever expanding array of crap  stuff necessitated some serious changes.

Matt and I had originally chosen the smaller room for Maddie because:

1. We live in a 3 story house (our bedroom is on the top floor) and her bedroom on the 2nd floor was right at the bottom of our stairs.
2. We wanted to keep her in the bedroom away from the bathroom so that if we did have guests and they flushed in the middle of the night, it wouldn't wake her up.
3. He bedroom was away from the staircase leading downstairs and we wanted to encourage her to come up to us and not downstairs on her own.

We agreed to move her over because:

1. We rarely have houseguests and Maddie sleeps like a log so nobody is going to wake her if she doesn't want to be woken.
2. Maddie usually comes up to get us when she gets up in the morning because she doesn't like being downstairs by herself.  Occassionly she meanders downstairs on her own, fires up the MacBook Pro and grooves on the the Nick Jr. website, where she will sit quietly until we hear the music and freak out, but not normally. You think I'm kidding, don't you.....
3. Her current room is squashed full of stuff and there is nothing she is ready to part with (okay in fairness I did 'lose' a couple of items today).

So, one more item checked off my 25 Things List and one step closer to that charming insance asylum in the next village over.  I must be a glutton for punishment, because it was akin to ripping all your teeth out one by one and putting them back in another sore and bleeding mouth socket the whole time wondering why the hell you would do something so stupid.  Sorry for the rotten visual, but you really need to know how bad it was.

We started at 9am and, well if I am being honest, are still not completely finished.  The rooms are swapped over so I can cross it off my list, but the new guest room I've started calling 'Little Beruit'.  It started off quite merrily - Maddie was really excited to 'move' and really wanted to 'help'.....for about 25 minutes.  Then she really just wanted to spread out all of her toys and 'play', while I heaved heavy furniture through doorways. 

I got stuck at least 9 times in uncomfortable positions between door frames and heavy objects - each time injuring a part of my body in a new creative place and loosening my grip on my normally feminist initiative.  I started muttering things like:

1.  Where is your father? (on the beach in Cyprus)
2.  Women weren't cut out for this! (gasp)
3.  Where is a strong man when you really need him? (shudder)
4.  Maddie - I know you're 3, but man-up and hoist a bit higher on your end! (seriously)

We got about half way through and I was going to call it a day because Maddie was starting to re-assess her loving feelings towards me and I was tempted to:

1.  Find a cold beer
2.  Drink it
3.  At noon on a Wednesday

Because there was no cold/warm/hot beer in our house (and Matt would skin me alive if I broke open his bottle of Private Stock), we took a lunch break instead.  We got some freash air and took the dog out for a walk then came back and finished getting everything organized in Maddie's new room.  I managed to get all of the heavy furniture moved by myself with the exception of Maddie's bed. It needed to be taken apart and could I find the alan key I needed to do that one little last task - could I, could I, could I?  I was almost resigned to letting her sleep on the queen size guest bed that was already in her room, but didn't want her getting used to it (the child LOVES a big bed). Fortunately I found the desired tool and (with Maddie's help of course) took apart her bed and moved it.

As we speak Princess Madison is asleep in her new room and thankfully has decided she likes it (like it would matter at this point -  I would rather shave my eyebrows off than move her again).

She has decided she wants it painted yellow and I have decided that I will be waiting until she goes back to school before undertaking that little job.  Actually - I might be waiting for Matt to come to undertake that one for me!

Kittyn ;p

6 April 2010

Redecorated the gym

I must be insane because I spent 6 hours on Easter Monday redecorating the gym.  Everything in the back was moved up front and everything up front - well I think you know where I am going with this.  The end result is:  The jury is still out on this one.  I am not sure if I love it or hate it.  I am not always receptive to change and this was a big one (even though it was self imposed).  When I opened my gym 18 months ago, I spent ages analysizing the space I had and where I wanted every last little thing to go.  When you spend that much time on a project (months), it can be hard to watch it disappear.  The change needed to be done for several reasons:

1. Members get bored after time and something as simple as moving the workout equipment can boost their interest.
2. We had added a new piece of equipment and the circuit was getting a bit tight where it was.
3. I wanted to break out of my comfort zone and try something new.

What I love about it:
1. Lots of space on the circuit now
2.Members' area is in the back which is a nice little space and near the kitchen where they can get a cup of coffee or tea.
3. Less pounding sunlight up front where the equipment is, which will be cooler in the summer.
4. It lets people see what we are all about when they hit the top of the steps - it screams - I AM A GYM!
5. My diet and nutrition classes can be held while the gym is open because we are around the corner from the music.

What I hate about it:
1.The reception desk is going to need to be moved to the rear of the gym which kind of defeats the point (that job is going to involve some re-wiring and was too major to undertake in a day).
2. When you walk into the gym you are immediately in the middle of - well - the gym.  If a person walks to enquire about membership or is there for their first appointment, it can be a bit intimidating to be in the middle of a group working out.
3.  We will never be able to hear another phone conversation again because the music just floods the place.

We'll see what the feedback is this week - I am prepared to move it all back again if it doesn't work (sorry Kayleigh and Kaz)...........

As soon as I get some pictures I will post them and maybe you can give me your feedback as well!

4 April 2010

Chicken Run

Today I entered the 2nd Annual Chicken 5k Fun Run and Walk. 

A few of us from the gym had talked about doing it and I decided to go for it because:


1.  I had done the Santa Run earlier in the year and had a ball. 
2.  I personally had nothing better to do.
3.  I love an opportunity to dress in theme.
4.  Lucy  really needed to be taken out for a serious walk.



In the spirit of the event I was prepared to:

1.  Dress up like a chicken.
2.  Walk with my dog and my child (in a stroller) whilst having a good conversation with my friends.
3.  Make a fool of myself.
4.  Have a good time with some fun men and women.
5.  Not win.   We were placed at the back of the race with all the other people with animals and kids who were walking for fun so as not to get in the way of the 'serious' runners.  Seriously?  Who can be serious about running in a chicken suit......I'm just saying...
6. Be cold - the high was supposed to be 48 degrees with a strong wind and chance of rain.

I was not prepared to:

1. Run most of the 5k trailing behind my dog whilst pushing my 35 pound kid in her stroller.
2. Feel disappointed, when after gaining quite a bit of ground during a 10 minute sprint I had to stop while my dog pooped for England.  I watched, dejected and angry, at all the runners I had passed, pass me by with smiles on their faces (you know who you are).
3. Have my left arm ache so badly (arms aren't something that are normally sore after a race unless you have a large dog dragging you around a course or are involved in some sort of crazy wheelbarrel relay) .
4. Watch my dog get a medal for completing the 5k (although she really deserved one).
5. Sweat so badly in my fur chicken suit and head-dress.  I am almost always cold when running in England (except in the height of summer).  I was ready to strip nude by the 2nd mile which would have turned more heads than the girl wearing fishnets and a playboy bunny leotard (???)

Okay - we did not come in first, or second, or even 50th, but I do believe we finished at at least the 50th percentile, which isn't too shabby considering I was hampered down by a fur beast and kid.  All in all not a bad day - next year I think I will let the dog off the lead and let her go for it - really we were holding her back.   ;)

So that completes one whole item of my 25 Things List.  If I can stay awake until Maddie goes to bed and have the strength to catapult myself into the bathtub, I might just complete another item as well - my all inclusive spa night.  I will let you know tomorrow if it happens!

Kittyn

3 April 2010

25 Things

All around blogger-land people seem to have lists of things to accomplish before a milestone event (their 30th birthday for instance).  To amuse myself while my husband is gone and make the time go by more quickly, I have compiled a list of 25 things to do before he gets back (end of May).  Here they are in no particular order of importance:

1. Teach Maddie to use the toilet at night
2. Repot my Aloe Vera Plant and the offshoots (to give to friends)
3. Have a spa evening at home complete with treatments, candles and music
4. Have my eyebrows 'threaded'
5. Take the dog to the DIY dog wash to hose her down
6. Take the dog to Whisby Lake to mucky her up
7.Do the Chicken Run in full costume
8. Swap Maddie over into the larger room
9.Plant some flower seeds in the front garden
10.Redecorate the gym
11.Lose 10 pounds
12.Make a dish I have never tried before
13.Go on a mini road trip for the day to a random place on the map (I might let Maddie decide)
14.Get the best icecream ever from that place in Woodhall Spa
15.Hook up our old computer to the TV downstairs ala Sully so I can cruise the net on the big screen
16.Find the perfect dress for Summer Ball
17.Stay in my PJs all day with Maddie and watch movies
18.Stay at the playground for as long as Maddie wants even if I'm getting cold and bored
19.Do some trampolining with Maddie
20.Get the Living Room Carpet professionally cleaned
21.Fly a kite in the park
22.Take my daughter out for dinner - in a real restaurant
23.Fix the mole hill destruction in the garden  fix the new mole hil destruction in the garden
23.Paint our Wooden Garden Furniture
24. Complete at least one piece of beaded jewelry
25. Finish my super secret project (this does not include world domination, solving the theory of everything, keeping the house clean for a whole day or buying the house I really want behind Matt's back).